Thai Smile

Reading the expat web discussion board the other day it once again made me feel I'm living in a different Thailand than them – it's as if I'm Harry Potter and went through immigration gate 13 ½ and ended up in a different place than many of these endlessly whining expats droning on and on about deficiencies in anything and everything. The latest was a rhetorical question asking if the Thai smile in "The Land of Smiles" was real or just hiding something insincere and untrustworthy.

First off there are all the normal kinds of people in the Thailand I live in – some are happy and some aren't. Some I trust and some I don't. Everyone has good days and bad days. Life is a tough here as anywhere else. That said, I sure see a lot more authentic happy smiles in my day to day life here – at work (I'm one of two farangs out of one-hundred-fifty+), around Thai friends and family and just in everyday interactions. One of the things that never ceases to amaze me are the smiles and laughter I see around me. Today watching a policeman writing a ticket to two teens on their motorbike, people in the back of pick-ups, construction workers doing backbreaking work in the heat of the sun – all around me I see laughter and smiles bubble up from a gritty and tough day to day life.

There are in fact many recognized Thai smiles. ("yim" in Thai) When I found the list below I read the names out to my girlfriend Meow and she knew everyone and was able to give me an example. Very fun and it had me smiling – and then laughing. Every Thai knows about these smiles – and knows that a smile does not equate with being happy necessarily.

The fact that many of the smiles seem counter-intuitive to the emotion or situation seems to me not to be some sort of insincerity rather I think it reflects something central to the Thai culture. Accepting things like they are and doing the best with the hand you're dealt. Clearly like any personal or cultural trait there are good and bad sides in how things play out. But here a good life is full of "sanook" (enjoyment) and for the moments and times that aren't "sanook" you may as well put a brave smile on and make the most of it. Makes sense to me.

Take the example of the "yim haring" smile. There is the Thai equivalent to the resigned, rolling the eyes and exhale look the United Airlines baggage agent will give you when they lose your luggage. And at the core the Thai smile and the American resigned expression are both saying the same thing "I didn't lose your luggage, I'm doing what I can so don't give me a hard time". Whatever culture we come from we learn how to read these expressions quite well. (I've heard one of the things that is so difficult for Autistic children is that they can't read facial expressions and understand the emotions behind them.) It just seems that for some it's hard to get past the fact that this same message could be delivered in different ways. Or should I say that the delivery of different messages could be conveyed in similar ways. I really can't say one is innately better than the other but for me the Thai way, the Thai smile, suits me just fine. If it's a superficial veneer of pleasantness overlaid on top of life's tough times so be it. What the better alternative – to scowl?

Comments

Hi again,

Keep on smiling mister Potter most of the Sukhum-expats don't realize they are living in another country.
By the way did you visit Reflections already?

All the best from Holland

Jaap Huizenga

[Derek Brown]

Hi Jaap - I haven't eaten at the new one yet but I will tonight now that you remind me. Drive by all the time!

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a message.

Derek

[Edison Yu]

Hey Derek,

What a super wondeful blog!! I am truly amazed. Did not know that you were in Thailand. Looks like you are having a fantastic time. I am very glad for you. Cheers

Edison

[Derek Brown]

Hi Edison - what a blast from the past! Are you in Brazil now? I've been her close to 2 1/2 years and consider it my home. Glad you enjoyed the blog and thanks for taking the time to comment.

Derek